Economic Models Explained with Cows

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.



COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk..



FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.



NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.



BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away...



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows..

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income



SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four
cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped

dead.



ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you
get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk
rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the
rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report
says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell
one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with
nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.



A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because

you want three cows.



A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary

cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon'
and market it worldwide.



A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
month, and milk themselves.



AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.



A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.



A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.



A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



AN INDIAN CORPORATION

Two cows have you.



A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.



AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and
invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy...



AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.



A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows..

The one on the left looks very attractive